


Can’t live without you

by leaspirine



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: (pls don’t read if you think it’s too much this is very dark), Alternate Universe, Dark, F/F, Luna just can not live without Raven, Modern Setting, One Shot, Self-Harm, TW//BLOOD!!, flight crash, tw// alcohol, tw// suicidal thoughts, tw// throwing up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:40:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26084335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leaspirine/pseuds/leaspirine
Summary: it’s almost midnight, Luna is listening to music while waiting for her girlfriend to come home from San Fransisco when she gets a text:“Clarke: Luna, turn the TV on watch the news!”“Luna: what?”“Clarke: just do it!”
Relationships: Luna/Raven Reyes, SeaMechanic, Seamech
Kudos: 8





	Can’t live without you

23:47.(pm)  
It’s almost midnight, Luna’s sitting on the couch listening to music while waiting for her girlfriend to come home from San Fransisco when she gets a text:  
”Clarke: Luna, turn on the TV watch the news!”  
”Luna: what?”  
”Clarke: just do it!”  
She turned to TV on and put the news’ channel.

« News flash: the flight from San Fransisco to New York crashed somewhere in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, the numbers on survivors is unknown»

´This can’t be real, no, no this isn’t real’...Luna felt tears coming down her cheeks, Raven is in that flight....

0:22.  
Bottle of vodka in her hand, still sitting on the couch staring at the TV. She can not believe this is happening, this might be her worst nightmare, the thought of Raven being gone makes her heart skip a beat. She was already drunk when Clarke texted her:  
”Clarke: Luna im coming right now you shouldn’t be alone”  
She didn’t reply, put her phone down and took another sip of her half-empty bottle instead.  
By the time Clarke got to Luna’s and Raven’s apartment, Luna was passed out laying on the couch. Clarke went to the kitchen and took a glass of water and a bucket just in case.  
She settled those next to Luna and waited for her to wake up.

01:32.(am)  
Luna woke up and threw up immediately, she wasn’t sure if what happened was real or just a dark dream of hers, it wouldn’t be the first time she had a nightmare as awful as that. But she remembers, it’s real, Clarke was sitting next to her.  
”Hey hey, it’s okay im here, you’re not alone” she told Luna with a soft voice.  
Luna lift up her head to take a look at the TV, they were survivors, but not many.  
”She can’t...i- i need her” Luna whispered, voice cracking because of her sobbing.  
Clarke’s eyes were also tearing up ”She’ll be okay, she could be one of the survivors, i promise it’ll be okay” she went to hug Luna but the girl bent to throw up in the bucket again so she tied up her curly hair in a bun.  
”hey, here, drink some water”  
Luna drank the whole glass and layed down on the couch, closing her eyes. Soon enough she was asleep, so Clarke cleaned up, taking the bucket away and bringing another one just in case. She also re-filled the empty water glass before leaving the apartment, she was exhausted and needed some sleep too.

03:15. (am)  
Luna woke up again, but this time she woke up crying, no, more like sobbing. She tried to calm down before drinking the water Clarke had refilled. ´Clarke must’ve left after i fell asleep’ she thought.  
She looked up at the tv and...still no news of the survivors. She got up and went to the kitchen wanting to take another bottle of some alcohol, ´maybe wine’ she thought. But instead she went to her bag and got her vape out and then returned to sitting on the couch. She was still crying, hell she never stopped crying, her eyes tearing up, her mind unable to think of any other thing than if Raven was still alive...she couldn’t live without her.  
She stayed awake, fixing the TV and vaping for a long time before getting her phone and going through her contacts: « Ray<3»  
”Luna: Raven i need yoi”  
”Luna: plezsr bzbe i need u, pls be alove”  
”Luna: pls cime bavk ti me...” She couldn’t even type correctly because she was drunk and couldn’t see clear because of all those tears in her eyes.

04:54. (am)  
After almost two hours of sobbing and staring at her phone and the TV, she got up and went to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, she looked miserable, she untied her hair, letting her curls fall down. She opened the drawer and grabbed a razor-blade, she couldn’t do this anymore, it was too much to handle, she couldn’t live without the love of her life...  
She dropped the razor-blade, tried to stop the bleeding with her hand but ended up taking a  
cotton soaked in alcohol to clean the wound.  
She was sobbing and screaming, she let down her sleeve and move the blade to her thigh. There was blood everywhere in the sink and some drops on the floor. She got up and went to the bedroom, taking one of Raven’s sweat pants and putting in on. She took another look at herself in the mirror again, she washed her hands but didn’t clean up the sink. ‘This isn’t enough’ she though, so she went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife and went back to the bathroom still sobbing. She was about to do something stupid when Clarke called her, she ignored it, continuing was she was about to do but her phone rang again so she picked up.  
”WHAT DO YOU WANT CLARKE?!“ she shouted, her voice cracking from all the sobbing she’s done.  
”Luna...please don’t do anything stupid” Clarke said with a soft voice.  
´How did she...´Luna thought to herself.  
”listen, i know this isn’t easy, i know okay!?! but please...don’t do that“ she paused “raven wouldn’t want that, okay!? there is still a chance she’ll come back tomorrow or..the day after so please...please don’t....“ Clarke was tearing up, Luna could tell from the way her voice broke from time to time.  
She dropped the knife, crying, her heart aching, and her whole body shaking.  
“ i can’t do this without her....i need her, Clarke“  
“i know....please Luna, get some rest...she’ll come back to you i promise”. To that Luna nodded ”Goodnight, Clarke”. “Goodnight”.  
She picked up the knife and put it back in the kitchen before laying on the couch again, falling asleep.

05:36. (am)  
She startled at the sound of someone knocking, she got up and ran to the door, opened it and...her heart skipped a beat a the sigh of her, Raven. She was so shocked and relieved she wasn’t able to do anything except staring at her girlfiend, eyes tearing up. Raven threw herself into Luna’s arms before kissing her. Luna hold her tigh, never wanting to let go. ”you’re alive...“ she said more to herslef than anyone else. Raven chuckled “yeah...i am“  
”i thought i’d lost you...” Luna whispered scanning Raven’s face, her brows furrowed at the bruises on her cheek, lip and forehead. ”...it’s nothing“ Raven told her before continuing “and no, you can’t get rid of me that easily” at that, Luna let out a soft laugh. “ i missed you...“ raven said before drifting her eyes to the table and seeing an almost empty bottle of vodka and luna’s vape. “lunes...” she left out a sight and Luna looked down “i missed you too“ and kissed Raven again.  
Raven sighed again before leading Luna to their bedroom “are you wearing my pants?!“ she said teasing her, Luna chuckled “nah...“ and smiled at her girlfriend. Raven smiled back at her and helped Luna lie down on the bed, she could tell she was still drunk “get some rest, i’ll be back im just gonna clean up“ she told her before getting some pyjamas and getting in the bathroom. As soon as she closed the door she saw the blood and razor-blade, her heart dropped, she closed her eyes and let out a sigh. That’s happened before, Luna harming herself, and as much as it hurt her to know her girlfriend was in a bad place, she was still there for her, always...but knowing that this time, the reason Luna was doing this was actually her fault...hurt Raven even more. She let a tear fall down her cheek before cleaning up the floor and the sink, she threw the blade in the trash and hide all the other blades somewhere Luna wouldn’t find them. She cleaned up her face and put on her shirt and some night shorts and walked carefully to the bedroom without her brace. At the sigh of Raven without her brace, Luna sat up wanting to help her but Raven told her she was fine and to stay in bed.  
She got in bed next to her girlfriend and kissed her, lift up her sleeve and let her fingers brush the wounds “lunes...“ she said, almost crying.  
Luna whispered shaking her head slowly “i can’t live without you”. At that, Raven closed her eyes for a second before opening them and saying “and you won’t, because im here...im here for you and i won’t go anywhere. I love you, Luna“  
“I love you“ Luna told back and tighten her arms around Raven, both closing their eyes and seeking comfort in each other, driving themselves to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a pretty dark fic im sorry if it was too much, i thought of that story before going to sleep last night and decided to write it. i just love seamech and there’s not enough fic of them so...yeah :) anywayz have a great day/night!!


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